the fine art of discernment

Sorry for the long break. I'm still doing research about what's going on so that I can present information as accurately as possible. I'm also tossing around the idea of rewriting posts but I think that I'll just add updates to them so that you can see where and how my thinking has changed. Thanks for your patience.

This is described here in Wikipedia. The controversy surrounding this term is that the memories that were recovered by sexual abuse survivors were mistaken in their accounts because they were influenced by psychiatrists doing hypnotic regressions.

While I'm not a doctor, I am an honest person seeking the truth.

Knowing what I know about hyperdimensional tactics, I believe what the survivors were experiencing was a screen memory designed to hide the true memory of hyperdimensional harassment. At the same time, I realize that this may not be true in all cases, it wouldn't surprise me if somehow we were to find out that it is.

People such who have done honest research in this field have seen that it is extremely difficult if impossible to lead someone in this manner. Some have even attempted to do so (as a test) and found that this is so.

I further think that a byproduct (possibly intentional) of the false memory hoopla was to discredit the field of hypnotic regression in order to prevent people from undergoing this therapy and finding out what was truly happening to them. This to me was another wrench thrown in the works to keep keep people in the dark about hyperdimensional agendas.

I think it came about at the time that hypnotic regression was becoming well known. Researchers such as Barbara Bartholic and Karla Turner were gaining popularity and started doing regressions when they couldn't find anyone else around that could help them and others who were coming to them for assistance.

The main reason false memory syndrome was so controversial was because the accounts of survivors related to extreme sexual abuse in childhood. While the subject is certainly serious, the focus on it overshadowed the real horror of what was happening. People were being taken.

Make no mistake, sexual abuse of any kind is truly heinous. Just know that when dealing with service to self beings we must always question what is being presented before us. What we think is really happening is usually the tip of the iceberg.

I've decided to add what little info I have concerning the "Truman Show" Syndrome to the comparisons page since the information I've been compiling on my computer has mysteriously disappeared twice. Any corrections/additions would be appreciated.

The first thing you should know is that I have never, ever, ever in my life been pregnant.

Years ago, my boyfriend at the time pointed out to me a line that runs from the top of my ribcage to the pubic area. Having never seen another woman naked up close, I thought that perhaps every woman had this. I was informed that I was wrong. Of course in my ignorance, I never gave it another thought. Cut to the present.

While reading an alien abduction account, one man (while being regressed) said that he saw a woman laying nearby who was having her stomach cut open. This led me to wonder about the line going down my own stomach. I thought this could be the explanation for what had happened to me.

While researching medical terms on Wikipedia, I inadvertently came across the term Linea Negra. As soon as I saw the pictures, I was struck. As clear as day, I have this line! According to Wiki, it occurs when a woman becomes pregnant!!

As stated before, I've never been pregnant in my life much less carried a child into the second trimester. What is going on?? And when would I have been pregnant to that extent without knowing it? I've been very slender all my life and would definitely have noticed such a thing.

If anyone can provide an alternate explanation, I'd completely welcome it.

So, I've been meditating now for roughly six weeks and I think I've been having pretty good results. I've been able to release quite a few blockages (or at least that's what I'm calling some of them). These blockages feel like... little circles of pressure/pain in different areas of the body. Sometimes when they are released, you'll feel a pop. Other times, you may feel them moving out of your body (many times to the head/crown chakra?). If you decide to start doing this, they're easier to spot as you continue with it.

A little over a week ago on the C's site, a discussion was started regarding breathing techniques. I've incorporated them into my meditation and am very satisfied with the results. Not only is the breathing calming, but they seem to increase the ability to get rid of the blockages.

The link to the post that started the discussion is here.

The link to questions regarding the breathing technique is here.

Over the coming weeks, more information will be posted on that site for those interested in rounding out what they have in mind. For now, it's just the breathing program.

As for the ear implant situation. For me, this has required vigilance as several times the implants have returned and thus my hearing increased. Each time I've gotten rid of one, my hearing returned to normal instantly. I suppose it's important to these beings to have me be able to hear what they're saying so that I can be freaked out 24/7? Whatever the reason, I'm fighting it.

According to the C's, this breathing program is helpful in cleansing "emotional blockages and programs not to mention karmic burdens". Seeing as how this battle is primarily waged in the mind, I think this makes sense.

I've gotten a lot of help (and hope) from reading and hearing about other people's experiences with strange phenomena and decided to share some of the things I've gone through.

What forced me to begin to notice what was happening was shortly after I moved in with my Dad and I began working for an online company. I started encountering people who were openly hostile towards me. This hostile behavior was expressed in angry looks and angry language. Now growing up in New York, the angry language is not entirely unusual which is why I didn't take much notice of it. However, it was the frequency of it that was unnerving. Not only did I not know these people, but the anger they expressed had no basis (it wasn't because I stepped on someone's toes literally or figuratively). To add to the confusion, they seemed to feel justified in their anger as if I had personally wronged them somehow.

At first, it was just random situations on the street where I was living. Then it became situations on the train (people staring as though they could barely contain their rage). Eventually it was happening in the neighborhood that I was working in. It got to be really stressful to say the least. My Dad noticed nothing and like people who haven't experienced this or are still asleep to it don't understand and try to rationalize it away (like I used to do).

In my struggle to make sense of it, I chalked it up to neighborhood nonsense (since it wasn't the greatest place to live). So I moved back Upstate.

Everything was fine (or so I thought at the time). Looking back on it now, I see that it was happening there as well only in much subtler ways:

I hooked up with this guy who acted as if he hadn't been raised (he didn't know what a cloth napkin was for) and had anger issues. He said he was 30. This is when my gynecological problems started (recounted here). Now this is a guy that I had absolutely no interest in for most of the time I knew him and according to him, he felt the same. We just "suddenly" became interested in each other at the same time. When I told him about the health issues I was having, his response was "It's all in your head." That was just the cold water I needed to end that!

After I ended it with him, I would hear two guys outside of my bedroom window at night. I couldn't make out much except for that whole "that's her" nonsense.

At that time I had the opportunity to move back into the city with a friend I've known since college that's had her own bizarre situations (she experiences the stalking to a milder extent, workplace mobbing, induced smells and voices in the "empty" apartment above her that recount her personal and phone conversations).

I moved in sometime in July (?). I wasn't going out much because I was busy job hunting on the internet. I did notice that in some of the places I shopped, there was the same angry behavior happening but figured what can you do and let it go.

In January of the following year, my Mother died suddenly. I had just spoken to here two days before and was going to visit her in the next week to help her out with becoming more mobile again in her life (she had fallen a while back and I had finally found out from her that she was only going out to run errands which wasn't like her). The strange thing was that one day that same week (I think a Thursday) I spoke to her on the phone and she sounded completely out of it. She said that "they" were giving here a party. I couldn't get much more out of her than that. I called security downstairs (she lived at an apartment building for the elderly) and asked them to keep an eye on here. Everything seemed fine. In retrospect, I should have gone down there...

When I spoke to here on the Friday, she was fine and said she was heading out to run some errands. I couldn't reach her at all on Saturday and told myself that if I didn't hear anything by Sunday morning I'd go down there which I did. She was dead. She had her shoes on as if she was going out. Even though the paramedics said she died that day, I have no doubt in my mind that she died on Friday. I also never found her house keys.

One of the cops was incredibly cold. That week, two people came by (like vultures) to find out what they could get. It was a neighbor and a security guard. They acted as if they deserved to get something and had absolutely no empathy for the situation!

The circumstances concerning my mother's death are not that unusual in general, but it was the phone call where she was confused that sticks out in my mind. My mother never had Alzheimer's or any kind of dementia.

After she died, the strangeness level became impossible to ignore.

It started out with hearing the same song where ever I went. It was "Big Yellow Taxi" by the Counting Crows. The line I kept hearing was "Don't it always seem to go, you don't know what you've got til' it's gone." I was wondering it it was some guilt thing going on with me that was causing this, but I felt no guilt.

Me and my Mother had our difficulties - I need to communicate, she didn't feel comfortable with that so after years there isn't much that's going to be said. I feel that I did my best to meet her where she was and have with hard work come to peace with it. So what was the song about?

Maybe my mother was trying to tell me something? At that point, I said to her - Look, I've heard the song. If there's something more you want to tell me say it and be exact (because I can be clueless)! I didn't hear the song again.

Shortly after this, I'm standing near Union Square about to cross this street I've crossed many times. The number of the building stood out in a way it never did before. It was truly surreal. It was 666. This was a sign, but of what? Always the optimist, I started playing the lottery. It came close, but never hit.

I finally got a job in March and shortly after all hell broke out. There were people talking loudly in an attempt to let me know they were referring to me. It started out as "She's nasty!" and "That's disgusting!". No matter where I sat on the bus, there's was always hostility. No matter what time I left, it was the same thing. Then it was happening on the street. "They put people in jail for that!" one man said to his kid as they passed by me.

Other instances:

Two people cornering me on a city bus speaking angrily towards me. They also stole some shades that someone else had left their accidentally, but they though were mine!

In stores: One cashier went off in a rant in Spanish when I went up to the counter. All I understood was the word "diablo" (devil).

I went to Sephora for a free makeover with some friends. The person I got was hostile and very rough with the application of makeup.

I went to a restaurant with friends and has the same hostility from a guy at the counter. The lasagna tasted worse than Chef Boyardee and so I didn't eat most of it. He said to one of the other guys something like "What's problem with the food?". I got sick that night. Because of this, I no longer eat out.

I went to another restaurant with another friend and there were people laughing and talking in Spanish. I'm not paranoid - you can tell when someone is talking about you. I said nothing and continued with my meal. My friend (who spoke Spanish but doesn't look like she does) told one of them that they were racist. He looked appropriately ashamed.

At the bus stop: I'm waiting with my friend (the same one mentioned above). We're talking and a really big guy comes near us snapping his fingers and singing loudly. I ask him (politely) if he could lower his voice or move since we couldn't hear our own conversation. He flips! He starts yelling at the top of his lungs and becoming violent. My friend has her back to the bus stand and he bangs his fist on it over her shoulder as if to hit her! I'm looking around for anyone to help. He says "Go ahead, call the cops!" There was no one of course. I make my way away from the scene hoping my friend will follow but she's frozen. The bus comes and I guess she gets on. He makes his way towards me now and begins yelling nonsense about being on my period. I said, "If you touch me, I'll f*** you up!" He says, "Oh I'm not going to touch you, I'm going to spit on you!" !?! I said "Why are you so angry?" He just goes on with his unreasonable screaming. I turn to get on the bus and he says to the bus driver, "Don't ever let them in this neighborhood!" or something. Ridiculous!

After we get in the bus, I notice in peripheral vision some bizarre bullying behavior going on with a young and a old man. We get in a conversation with a woman on the bus and after she hears our story, she tells us that the young man was bullying the older man! When I turned to look at the young man (because by now I was up for a fight), he was gone! We gave a general report to the police.

These are just some of the stories that jump out. Keep in mind that in between the larger events, the smaller ones are going on continuously and simultaneously. Once again the stress of being harassed nonstop was too much. I parlayed my job into a telecommuting one and moved back Upstate.

Unfortunately, there would be no getting away from it this time.

The moving van: The guy seemed nice enough, but there was the most disgusting misogynistic rap music you'd ever want to hear. He was also late (I say this because a lot of situations that happen with this involve the interruption of something you're trying to get done.).

No one was interested in renting from the guy I rented from for a year. The day I took the apartment, a couple took an apartment as well. In addition, a friend of mine (I believe that was being influenced) did her level best to try and get a couple (that I knew and that may have been a buffer for me) out of their apartment - and succeeded.

The couple that took the apartment was said to be a cop and a child services lawyer. I found out later that the cop was really a security guard. They were moved in before I was (which was less than a week) and rarely lived there but just came by from the city every now and then. The husband did his best to not be seen by me.

I lived on a two lane road that was fairly quiet most of the year. Not any more. Anything that could honk and rumble did. Door slamming increased to an all time high. Note that I had lived in this same complex just two years prior when I had the health problems. There weren't any noise issues then (with the exception of a couple that was quickly asked to leave). The landlord whom I was on very good terms with (he didn't want me to leave) also said that the area had gotten noisier. So much so in fact, that he would often go to his other house to sleep!

It was the same thing wherever I went. Library, post office, supermarket. It got so bad that I didn't leave the apartment except to go to the post office. Even with that, there was always an incident. There was always a black car in the parking lot directly next to where I was staying until I let them know I was watching them (and taking down license plate numbers). I even ordered my groceries online and had them delivered.

With this going on, of course I felt watched all the time. I didn't feel comfortable sleeping in my own bed because of the weird electrical buzzing and so I was camped out in my sleeping bag.

What was happening? I had no clue. I'm great at internet research, but if you don't have a name for what's happening, how do you even know what to search for?

It was horrible but even then I knew it wasn't personal and I wasn't a victim. Finally on a stalking forum, someone gave me a name for this. They were going through the same thing and said it was called "organized stalking".

The information regarding this was not encouraging.

It would last the rest of my life? The police and authorities couldn't/wouldn't help? How to even begin to talk about this without people thinking you're crazy? I felt trapped...

No matter how I changed my life (which was getting smaller and smaller) it found me. So you're not going out? Okay, now the phone calls will start and the noise will increase. A person could go mad. I wasn't going to do this. But what could I do? I was 38 and wouldn't live out the rest of my life like this. Would I ever have a relationship again? Would I ever do anything again?

After a year of hiding out I decided that if "they" didn't care whether I died or went crazy, I was going to do what I really wanted with whatever time I had left.

I always wanted to travel and now that I had the opportunity and the impetus I would. I was not going to live another year hiding out. I gave away most of what I owned, booked my plane ticket and told my landlord that I wasn't renewing the lease.

That's a lot to digest for now. I'll put my travel experiences in another post.

Summertime hyperdimentional antics?

One of the many things I'm currently experiencing is the influx of mosquitoes. We're only keeping one door/window open (and only for a couple of hours) because the others are incredibly difficult to open. This door is at the opposite side of the apartment from the bedroom. There are no mosquitoes in any other room. They all seem to not only want to congregate in the bedroom but pretty much fly there directly as if they know where they're going (yes I've observed this - I have no life!). When I get rid of one, like clockwork another one will appear in no more than a couple of hours even if the door mentioned has not been opened. For the last few weeks, none of these bugs has missed a nightly meal. Over the past couple of days, they've increased a bit (2 or 3 at a time). Keep in mind that I'm living in a city and this started occurring after I really got into meditating which I sometimes do at night.

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't even give this a second thought. However when I think back...

Last summer while staying at a friend's house, within two days of my arrival there was a flea infestation in the entire house but mainly in the room I was staying in. Yes there was a dog but it was never allowed in my room. I put down a cup filled with a little oil and quite a few jumped in - I counted up to 50. They stayed for almost the entire six weeks that I was there. That was fun.

A few years ago, I had a strikingly similar situation to the mosquitoes except in that case it was wasps. Every time I got rid of one, two days wouldn't pass before there was another. Never two or three - just one at a time. Yes I was stung. It had the entire apartment and where did it end up? In my bed! I assumed there was a nest somewhere at the time.

Not long after that I had a bee somehow manage to find it's way into my pants! You know you want to laugh, it's hilarious! I can't even explain how this happened...

I also had a ladybug infestation but hear that those can actually be normal. Besides, they could really care less about humans, they just hang out.

I didn't really think much about any of these situations until I was reading some accounts of people going through similar things.

What's going on? I have no clue. Just chalk it up to more strangeness...